FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT
1st November 2023 Edition
MALAYSIA FINALLY AWAKENS FROM DEEP DURIAN-INDUCED SLEEP AND JOINS REST OF THE WORLD IN TAKING INTEREST IN WORLD AFFAIRS BEGINNING WITH PALESTINE SOLIDARITY WEEK AT SCHOOL LEVEL
Putrajaya, Monday:- According to unnamed sources inside the hallowed chambers of Parliament House, Malaysia has finally awoken from a deep durian-induced sleep and will now join the rest of the world in taking an interest in world affairs beginning with Palestine Solidarity Week programs organized at school level, programs designed to inculcate in Malaysians beginning at an early age awareness of world affairs beyond the boundaries of their respective towns or villages such that the desire to contribute towards the improvement of the lives of people in unfortunate circumstances wherever they may be found becomes second nature.
"We Malaysians, as you know, we love to eat, and one of our favorites, the mighty durian, well, after eating a lot of it, it makes us sleepy. Anyway, we are awake now, so let's move on," said one of those unnamed sources.
"Where were we? Yes, the Palestine Solidarity Week school programs, the first of our aware-of-what's-going-on-in-less-fortunate-parts-of-the-world-and-wanting-to-do-something-about-it Solidarity Week school-level programs," he went on.
"Wait till you see what's next on the government's 'We Are The World' agenda," he continued.
"World Hunger Awareness programs, focusing primarily on our starving Moslem brothers and sisters in Yemen, Somalia, and Ethiopia who go to bed at night with empty stomachs while we in Malaysia, we have so much food on our plates, half of it we throw away," he went on.
"We Malaysians, as you know, we love to eat, and one of our favorites, the mighty durian, well, after eating a lot of it, it makes us sleepy. Anyway, we are awake now, so let's move on," said one of those unnamed sources.
"Where were we? Yes, the Palestine Solidarity Week school programs, the first of our aware-of-what's-going-on-in-less-fortunate-parts-of-the-world-and-wanting-to-do-something-about-it Solidarity Week school-level programs," he went on.
"Wait till you see what's next on the government's 'We Are The World' agenda," he continued.
"World Hunger Awareness programs, focusing primarily on our starving Moslem brothers and sisters in Yemen, Somalia, and Ethiopia who go to bed at night with empty stomachs while we in Malaysia, we have so much food on our plates, half of it we throw away," he went on.
"Afghan Girls Belong In School Not In The Kitchen Solidarity Week programs next," he continued, "no explanation needed," he went on, "as the program name will tell you what cause we will be teaching our children to take up as their own next," he continued.
"And all of these programs organized at school level. No, wait. At all educational institutions including schools," he went on," but such indoctrination should begin at pre-school level, in kindergarten, because at university level, well, it might be a bit too late for students in their late teens or early twenties to pick up good habits like being charitable or compassionate and so on if such concepts had previously been alien to them, but don't quote me on that," he added.
"And all of these programs organized at school level. No, wait. At all educational institutions including schools," he went on," but such indoctrination should begin at pre-school level, in kindergarten, because at university level, well, it might be a bit too late for students in their late teens or early twenties to pick up good habits like being charitable or compassionate and so on if such concepts had previously been alien to them, but don't quote me on that," he added.
"Allah-u-Akbar!," he whispered, "but don't quote me on that either," he added, with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Oh, and if we find evidence of persecution or ill-treatment of our Moslem brothers and sisters caught up in the Russian-Ukraine conflict, you may be sure we will do something about it, a We Stand With Moslems Caught In The Crossfire In The Donbas Region Solidarity Week program, or something to that effect, but it's all hush-hush for now, you understand, as we do not want to upset our good friends, the Russians, at least not yet," he quipped.
"Oh, and if we find evidence of persecution or ill-treatment of our Moslem brothers and sisters caught up in the Russian-Ukraine conflict, you may be sure we will do something about it, a We Stand With Moslems Caught In The Crossfire In The Donbas Region Solidarity Week program, or something to that effect, but it's all hush-hush for now, you understand, as we do not want to upset our good friends, the Russians, at least not yet," he quipped.
