FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT
26th May 2024 Edition
U.S. CONGRESS ADVISES AMERICAN MULTINATIONAL COMPANIES IN MALAYSIA TO RELOCATE FOR FEAR CORPORATE TAX RINGGIT MIGHT POSSIBLY BE USED TO INDIRCTEDLY FUND TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS AT WAR WITH ISRAEL
Washington, Sunday:- Special Committee On Terrorism & Terrorist Organizations spokesperson, Gimme Yor-Ears, said in a press conference at the White House today that Congress was in the process of tabling an advisory, in view of being passed into law, for all American multinational corporations in Malaysia to relocate their operations, lock, stock and barrel, to other countries in the region where operating costs were competitive in comparison out of fear their corporate tax ringgit would quite possibly be used to fund terrorist groups and militias in the Middle East or elsewhere in their fight against Israel.
Malaysia, after all, has publicly announced its support for Hamas, and it is a well-known fact that Malaysia sends humanitarian aid by the shipload directly as well as indirectly with the help of NGOs, UNRWA and the like, and just as Gaza health ministry death toll figures did not discriminate between armed militants and civilians, neither did humanitarian aid deliveries discriminate between civilians and armed militants, she went on to say.
It was also a well-known fact that humanitarian aid could either be in cash or in kind, and that was where Congress' main concern was, as cash for weapons through backdoor channels from South-East Asia to Iran and from there to Hamas in Gaza and the West Bank, Islamic Jihad in Gaza and the West Bank, Hezbollah in Lebanon, the Houthis in Yemen and so on was a very real possibility, if not already a reality, she added.
The advisory being tabled by Congress in view of being passed into law, she continued, would include an ultimatum, a grace period of three years by which time relocation was expected to have been completed, failing which firmer action would be taken such as the imposition of sanctions, the revoking of import-export licenses and so on, if warranted.
In reply to a related question from the press corps members, she said she was confident that all American multinational corporations in Malaysia would agree unconditionally to the terms of the relocation advisory currently being tabled in view of being passed into law as "we Americans," she said, with her head held high, "like our Jewish brothers and sisters, always did the right thing."
A look at the press briefings handed out listed the names of the affected American multinational companies in Malaysia, close to three hundred in number, among them being Meta, Boeing, Levi Strauss, AMD Micro Devices, Dell, Flextronics, Johnson & Johnson, Amazon, Cisco, Google, Hewlett Packard, Pfizer, Philip Morris, Pepsico, Western Digital, 3M, Coca-Cola, Chevron, UPS, Visa, Starbucks, Citibank, DuPont, Ernst & Young, American Express, Amway, Cargill, Clorox, Microsoft, Molex, Procter & Gamble, Texas Instruments, Agilent Technologies, Boston Scientific Medical Device and Honeywell to name a few.
Malaysia, after all, has publicly announced its support for Hamas, and it is a well-known fact that Malaysia sends humanitarian aid by the shipload directly as well as indirectly with the help of NGOs, UNRWA and the like, and just as Gaza health ministry death toll figures did not discriminate between armed militants and civilians, neither did humanitarian aid deliveries discriminate between civilians and armed militants, she went on to say.
It was also a well-known fact that humanitarian aid could either be in cash or in kind, and that was where Congress' main concern was, as cash for weapons through backdoor channels from South-East Asia to Iran and from there to Hamas in Gaza and the West Bank, Islamic Jihad in Gaza and the West Bank, Hezbollah in Lebanon, the Houthis in Yemen and so on was a very real possibility, if not already a reality, she added.
The advisory being tabled by Congress in view of being passed into law, she continued, would include an ultimatum, a grace period of three years by which time relocation was expected to have been completed, failing which firmer action would be taken such as the imposition of sanctions, the revoking of import-export licenses and so on, if warranted.
In reply to a related question from the press corps members, she said she was confident that all American multinational corporations in Malaysia would agree unconditionally to the terms of the relocation advisory currently being tabled in view of being passed into law as "we Americans," she said, with her head held high, "like our Jewish brothers and sisters, always did the right thing."
A look at the press briefings handed out listed the names of the affected American multinational companies in Malaysia, close to three hundred in number, among them being Meta, Boeing, Levi Strauss, AMD Micro Devices, Dell, Flextronics, Johnson & Johnson, Amazon, Cisco, Google, Hewlett Packard, Pfizer, Philip Morris, Pepsico, Western Digital, 3M, Coca-Cola, Chevron, UPS, Visa, Starbucks, Citibank, DuPont, Ernst & Young, American Express, Amway, Cargill, Clorox, Microsoft, Molex, Procter & Gamble, Texas Instruments, Agilent Technologies, Boston Scientific Medical Device and Honeywell to name a few.
