FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT
1st August 2024 Edition
ISMAIL HANIYEH FINALLY GETS HIS 72 VIRGINS AFTER LONG WAIT
Teheran, Thursday:- Ismail Haniyeh, political chief and party chairman of Hamas, finally gets his 72 virgins in paradise after a long wait, departing from earth from the scene of an assassination attempt, apparently a successful one, on his life in his own home in Teheran yesterday, hours after attending the inauguration ceremony of Iran's new president.
Apart from 72 virgins, eternal erections and the sexual strength of a hundred men as promised by Allah from his mouth to Gabriel's to Muhammad's, Islam's revered prophet, for martyrdom in the name of Allah, Ismail Haniyeh now joins the ranks of the countless millions of martyrs enjoying their rewards for Islamic martyrdom in paradise, among whom were three of his own sons, martyred in Gaza by courtesy of the enemy, reviled instead of appreciated for their role, although unsought, in facilitating the journey from earth to paradise.
It was reported that Ismail Haniyeh was also in line to receive the Martyr's Award For Leadership & Gallantry in paradise for his outstanding services on earth, although this report could not be validated at the time of publication.
Teheran, Thursday:- Ismail Haniyeh, political chief and party chairman of Hamas, finally gets his 72 virgins in paradise after a long wait, departing from earth from the scene of an assassination attempt, apparently a successful one, on his life in his own home in Teheran yesterday, hours after attending the inauguration ceremony of Iran's new president.
Apart from 72 virgins, eternal erections and the sexual strength of a hundred men as promised by Allah from his mouth to Gabriel's to Muhammad's, Islam's revered prophet, for martyrdom in the name of Allah, Ismail Haniyeh now joins the ranks of the countless millions of martyrs enjoying their rewards for Islamic martyrdom in paradise, among whom were three of his own sons, martyred in Gaza by courtesy of the enemy, reviled instead of appreciated for their role, although unsought, in facilitating the journey from earth to paradise.
It was reported that Ismail Haniyeh was also in line to receive the Martyr's Award For Leadership & Gallantry in paradise for his outstanding services on earth, although this report could not be validated at the time of publication.
