FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT
11th August 2024 Edition
RUSSIA'S PRESIDENT MAKES TRAVEL PLANS AMIDST BORDER INCURSION BY UKRAINE GROUND FORCES
Moscow, Sunday:- It was rumored that Russia's panicky president was seen packing his bags for a trip to safer pastures. Officially, his office will be calling it an official state visit to somewhere yet undecided but friendly and safe where he might also decide to take a long-neglected break from official state duties for an undisclosed amount of time. "So, Mister President," a Kremlin FSB-cleared Press Room reporter was heard to say, with a not very convincing heavy Russian accent, "is it true that you will be leaving the motherland at such a critical time as this for your own safety as alleged by your jailed critics?" "Nyet, nyet, of course not," came the reply, "Russia has interests elsewhere more important than border skirmishes south-west of here," he continued, "At the same time, for national security purposes, you will give this man standing beside me your name and whom you work for. Press briefing is hereby adjourned. Spasiba."
Moscow, Sunday:- It was rumored that Russia's panicky president was seen packing his bags for a trip to safer pastures. Officially, his office will be calling it an official state visit to somewhere yet undecided but friendly and safe where he might also decide to take a long-neglected break from official state duties for an undisclosed amount of time. "So, Mister President," a Kremlin FSB-cleared Press Room reporter was heard to say, with a not very convincing heavy Russian accent, "is it true that you will be leaving the motherland at such a critical time as this for your own safety as alleged by your jailed critics?" "Nyet, nyet, of course not," came the reply, "Russia has interests elsewhere more important than border skirmishes south-west of here," he continued, "At the same time, for national security purposes, you will give this man standing beside me your name and whom you work for. Press briefing is hereby adjourned. Spasiba."
