FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT

23rd Sept 2026 Edition

MYSTERIOUS AFFLICTION BELIEVED TO BE BIBLICALLY LINKED FINALLY IDENTIFIED

   Jerusalem, Wed.:- The mysterious but deadly affliction believed to be biblically linked that continues to ravage millions across the globe has finally been identified, pending official verification and attestation by medical authorities.

   According to Moshe Avner Levi, the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, the mysterious but deadly affliction, characterized by painful mouth sores, madness and eventual heart rot or decay, following clinical studies, appears to have a direct biblical link whereby it is said that whoever blesses Israel would be blessed and whoever curses Israel would be cursed, clinical studies which also found a deeply rooted hatred for Jews worldwide including Israel in 99.99% of the patients in the study group.

   Furthermore, as pointed out by the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, everyone in the comparison group, mostly from countries or communities at peace or on good terms with Israel, was found to be healthy, wealthy, or both, and had nothing bad or critical to say about Israel or Jews worldwide.

   "I'm calling it," said the good rabbi, "the Whoever Curses Israel Affliction, or the WCIA illness for now, or until someone comes up with a better, or more scientific, name," he concluded.

   Unofficially, it went on to be referred to as the Whoever Curses Israel Is F**cked illness by popular demand in certain circles, both online as well as offline.