FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT

10th October 2026 Edition

ISRAEL TO BEGIN SURGICAL GENITAL REMOVAL OF ALL DEAD JIHADISTS TO DENY THEM THEIR SEXUAL REWARDS IN PARADISE

Jerusalem, Saturday:- In commemoration of Oct 7, Israel has vowed to begin implementing surgical removal of the genitals of all dead jihadists on the battlefield or anywhere else so as to deny them their sexual rewards as promised them in paradise, an act that would render their heroic deeds of sacrifice and martyrdom meaningless and make their deaths appear to have been in vain.

   Martyrdom is the highest aspiration for a jihadist and 72 virgins are his reward in paradise according to popular jihadi belief.

   As for dead female jihadis, their punishment will be surgical removal of their breasts, an act that would make them unattractive and repulsive to their husbands in paradise.

   In other news, Israelis gathered in somber mood across the scarred nation as the Sabbath, or Shabbat, began as the sun went down as commanded by Moses some three thousand or so years ago.