FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORt
                      23rd September 2022 Edition

VLADIMIR PUTIN ORDERS MOBILIZATION OF 300,000 ADDITIONAL ARMY CONSCRIPTS FOR WAR IN UKRAINE TO ADDRESS BODY BAG SHIPMENT ERROR IN EXCESS OF 300,000 UNITS

Moscow, Friday:- In an unexpected turn of events unprecedented since WWII, Russian president Vladimir Putin ordered the mobilization of 300,000 additional army conscripts for the war in Ukraine to address, according to his critics on both sides of the frontlines, a body bag shipment error in excess of 300,000 units delivered to Russian frontline positions by mistake.

Elsewhere, reports of Russian citizens of fighting age fleeing the country by land, sea and air to escape the draft have been flooding in like a tsunami.

Russian authorities have downplayed the reports as being tourism-related in view of the approaching winter season and a distorted world view that Russians were insulated from cold weather by an invisible coating of seal blubber, and in some extreme cases, reptilian genes.