FAKE NEWS DAILY REPORT

                              5th November 2019 Edition

 

MALAYSIAN PM JOKINGLY SAYS BEST TIME TO INVADE IS DURING FESTIVE HOLIDAYS

 

Bangkok, Tues.:- At the recently concluded 34th ASEAN Summit which ended in a gala dinner for all attending heads of state last night, it was reported by unconfirmed sources that Malaysian prime minister, Dr. Mahathir, was overheard as saying to his fellow dinner guests that the best time to invade his home country was during festive holidays, jokingly of course.
   When asked to elaborate further on the subject, according to the same unconfirmed source, he explained that at the stroke of midnight on the eve of any festive holiday, regardless of the occasion and irrespective of the ethnic or religious linkage involved, the night would erupt into a deafening, cataclysmic scene of exploding bombs and volleys of gunfire imitated by firecrackers and fireworks set off or lit up by the festive holiday celebrants concerned, which would make it the best time to launch an armed invasion as no one would be able to tell the difference of the sound of gunfire volleys and exploding bombs imitated or made by firecrackers and fireworks from the real thing until it was too late, jokingly of course.

   Furthermore, he went on to say, according to the same unconfirmed source, the bigger the festive occasion, the better would the timing for such a hypothetical scenario be as more gunfire volleys and exploding bombs would be heard in more places all over the country, hence disguising the sounds of actual gunfire volleys and exploding bombs even better, jokingly of course.